Archive for Funny

I am a million dollor baby :)

Hello,

My name is Mrs .Maria Johnson.I am a dying woman who has decided to will
her fortune to you for charitable goals.

I am 59 years old and was diagnosed for cancer about 2 years ago, Kindly
Contact my lawyer through this email address
(barristerschamberswalterashdow@gmail.com) if you are interested in carrying out
this task,so that he can arrange the release of the funds($10,500,000.00)
to you.

My lawyer’s name is Barrister Walter Ashdown.I know I have never met you
but instincts tells me to do this,and i hope you act sincerely.

Thank you and God bless you.

Maria Johnson.

Got this mail spam today.  I was wondering  how this spam will make money for generator and its  effect on internet network.. Spam filtering  market as big as search.  If anyone  can provide a workings solution he  can be next Google.

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Crazzy way of expressing love !!!

ways-of-love

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How to find a ‘perfect’ love this Valentine’s day

Slightly old formula (but I guess it works 😉 )

New age mantra

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Morten Lund of Skype fame speaking at LeWeb08

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Yahoo’s "Peanut Butter"

This critical, internal Yahoo memo was being forwarded all over the place allegedly Brad Garlinghouse, a Yahoo senior V.P.

Here it is

Three and half years ago, I enthusiastically joined Yahoo! The magnitude of the opportunity was only matched by the magnitude of the assets. And an amazing team has been responsible for rebuilding Yahoo!It has been a profound experience. I am fortunate to have been a part of dramatic change for the Company. And our successes speak for themselves. More users than ever, more engaging than ever and more profitable than ever!I proudly bleed purple and, yellow everyday! And like so many people here, I love this company

But all is not well. Last Thursday’s NY Times article was a blessing in the disguise of a painful public flogging. While it lacked accurate details, its conclusions rang true, and thus was a much needed wake up call. But also a call to action. A clear statement with which I, and far too many Yahoo’s, agreed. And thankfully a reminder. A reminder that the measure of any person is not in how many times he or she falls down – but rather the spirit and resolve used to get back up. The same is now true of our Company.

It’s time for us to get back up.

I believe we must embrace our problems and challenges and that we must take decisive action. We have the opportunity – in fact the invitation – to send a strong, clear and powerful message to our shareholders and Wall Street, to our advertisers and our partners, to our employees (both current and future), and to our users. They are all begging for a signal that we recognize and understand our problems, and that we are charting a course for fundamental change, Our current course and speed simply will not get us there. Short-term band-aids will not get us there.It’s time for us to get back up and seize this invitation.I imagine there’s much discussion amongst the Company’s senior most leadership around the challenges we face. At the risk of being redundant, I wanted to share my take on our current situation and offer a recommended path forward, an attempt to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

Recognizing Our Problems

We lack a focused, cohesive vision for our company. We want to do everything and be everything — to everyone. We’ve known this for years, talk about it incessantly, but do nothing to fundamentally address it. We are scared to be left out. We are reactive instead of charting an unwavering course. We are separated into silos that far too frequently don’t talk to each other. And when we do talk, it isn’t to collaborate on a clearly focused strategy, but rather to argue and fight about ownership, strategies and tactics.

Our inclination and proclivity to repeatedly hire leaders from outside the company results in disparate visions of what winning looks like — rather than a leadership team rallying around a single cohesive strategy.

I’ve heard our strategy described as spreading peanut butter across the myriad opportunities that continue to evolve in the online world. The result: a thin layer of investment spread across everything we do and thus we focus on nothing in particular.

I hate peanut butter. We all should.

We lack clarity of ownership and accountability. The most painful manifestation of this is the massive redundancy that exists throughout the organization. We now operate in an organizational structure — admittedly created with the best of intentions — that has become overly bureaucratic. For far too many employees, there is another person with dramatically similar and overlapping responsibilities. This slows us down and burdens the company with unnecessary costs.

Equally problematic, at what point in the organization does someone really OWN the success of their product or service or feature? Product, marketing, engineering, corporate strategy, financial operations… there are so many people in charge (or believe that they are in charge) that it’s not clear if anyone is in charge. This forces decisions to be pushed up – rather than down. It forces decisions by committee or consensus and discourages the innovators from breaking the mold… thinking outside the box.

There’s a reason why a centerfielder and a left fielder have clear areas of ownership. Pursuing die same ball repeatedly results in either collisions or dropped balls. Knowing that someone else is pursuing the ball and hoping to avoid that collision – we have become timid in our pursuit. Again, the ball drops.

We lack decisiveness. Combine a lack of focus with unclear ownership, and the result is that decisions are either not made or are made when it is already too late. Without a clear and focused vision, and without complete clarity of ownership, we lack a macro perspective to guide our decisions and visibility into who should make those decisions. We are repeatedly stymied by challenging and hairy decisions. We are held hostage by our analysis paralysis.

We end up with competing (or redundant) initiatives and synergistic opportunities living in the different silos of our company.
• YME vs. Musicmatch
• Flickr vs. Photos
• YMG video vs. Search video
• Deli.cio.us vs. myweb
• Messenger and plug-ins vs. Sidebar and widgets
• Social media vs. 360 and Groups
• Front page vs. YMG
• Global strategy from BU’vs. Global strategy from Int’l

We have lost our passion to win. Far too many employees are “phoning” it in, lacking the passion and commitment to be a part of the solution. We sit idly by while — at all levels — employees are enabled to “hang around”. Where is the accountability? Moreover, our compensation systems don’t align to our overall success. Weak performers that have been around for years are rewarded. And many of our top performers aren’t adequately recognized for their efforts.

As a result, the employees that we really need to stay (leaders, risk-takers, innovators, passionate) become discouraged and leave. Unfortunately many who opt to stay are not the ones who will lead us through the dramatic change that is needed.
Solving our Problems

We have awesome assets. Nearly every media and communications company is painfully jealous of our position. We have the largest audience, they are highly engaged and our brand is synonymous with the Internet.

If we get back up, embrace dramatic change, we will win.

I don’t pretend there is only one path forward available to us. However, at a minimum, I want to be pad of the solution and thus have outlined a plan here that I believe can work. It is my strong belief that we need to act very quickly or risk going further down a slippery slope, The plan here is not perfect; it is, however, FAR better than no action at all.There are three pillars to my plan:1. Focus the vision.2. Restore accountability and clarity of ownership.3. Execute a radical reorganization.

1. Focus the vision

a) We need to boldly and definitively declare what we are and what we are not.

b) We need to exit (sell?) non core businesses and eliminate duplicative projects and businesses.

My belief is that the smoothly spread peanut butter needs to turn into a deliberately sculpted strategy — that is narrowly focused.

We can’t simply ask each BU to figure out what they should stop doing. The result will continue to be a non-cohesive strategy. The direction needs to come decisively from the top. We need to place our bets and not second guess. If we believe Media will maximize our ROI — then let’s not be bashful about reducing our investment in other areas. We need to make the tough decisions, articulate them and stick with them — acknowledging that some people (users / partners / employees) will not like it. Change is hard.

2. Restore accountability and clarity of ownership

a) Existing business owners must be held accountable for where we find ourselves today — heads must roll,

b) We must thoughtfully create senior roles that have holistic accountability for a particular line of business (a variant of a GM structure that will work with Yahoo!’s new focus)

c) We must redesign our performance and incentive systems.

I believe there are too many BU leaders who have gotten away with unacceptable results and worse — unacceptable leadership. Too often they (we!) are the worst offenders of the problems outlined here. We must signal to both the employees and to our shareholders that we will hold these leaders (ourselves) accountable and implement change.

By building around a strong and unequivocal GM structure, we will not only empower those leaders, we will eliminate significant overhead throughout our multi-headed matrix. It must be very clear to everyone in the organization who is empowered to make a decision and ownership must be transparent. With that empowerment comes increased accountability — leaders make decisions, the rest of the company supports those decisions, and the leaders ultimately live/die by the results of those decisions.

My view is that far too often our compensation and rewards are just spreading more peanut butter. We need to be much more aggressive about performance based compensation. This will only help accelerate our ability to weed out our lowest performers and better reward our hungry, motivated and productive employees.

3. Execute a radical reorganization

a) The current business unit structure must go away.

b) We must dramatically decentralize and eliminate as much of the matrix as possible.

c) We must reduce our headcount by 15-20%.

I emphatically believe we simply must eliminate the redundancies we have created and the first step in doing this is by restructuring our organization. We can be more efficient with fewer people and we can get more done, more quickly. We need to return more decision making to a new set of business units and their leadership. But we can’t achieve this with baby step changes, We need to fundamentally rethink how we organize to win.

Independent of specific proposals of what this reorganization should look like, two key principles must be represented:

Blow up the matrix. Empower a new generation and model of General Managers to be true general managers. Product, marketing, user experience & design, engineering, business development & operations all report into a small number of focused General Managers. Leave no doubt as to where accountability lies.

Kill the redundancies. Align a set of new BU’s so that they are not competing against each other. Search focuses on search. Social media aligns with community and communications. No competing owners for Video, Photos, etc. And Front Page becomes Switzerland. This will be a delicate exercise — decentralization can create inefficiencies, but I believe we can find the right balance.

I love Yahoo! I’m proud to admit that I bleed purple and yellow. I’m proud to admit that I shaved a Y in the back of my head.

My motivation for this memo is the adamant belief that, as before, we have a tremendous opportunity ahead. I don’t pretend that I have the only available answers, but we need to get the discussion going; change is needed and it is needed soon.

We can be a stronger and faster company – a company with a clearer vision and clearer ownership and clearer accountability.We may have fallen down, but the race is a marathon and not a sprint. I don’t pretend that this will be easy. It will take courage, conviction, insight and tremendous commitment. I very much look forward to the challenge.
So let’s get back up.
Catch the balls.
And stop eating peanut butter.

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Reservation for all

I think we should have job reservations in all the fields. I completely support the PM and all the politicians for promoting this. Let’s start the reservation with our cricket team. We should have 10 percent reservation for Muslims. 30 percent for OBC, SC/ST like that. Cricket rules should be modified accordingly. The boundary circle should be reduced for an SC/ST player. The four hit by an OBC player should be considered as a six and a six hit by a OBC player should be counted as 8 runs. An OBC player scoring 60 runs should be declared as a century. We should influence ICC and make rules so that the pace bowlers like Shoaib Akhtar should not bowl fast balls to our OBC player. Bowlers should bowl maximum speed of 80 kilometer per hour to an OBC player. Any delivery above this speed should be made illegal. Also we should have reservation in Olympics. In the 100 meters race, an OBC player should be given a gold medal if he runs 80 meters. There can be reservation in Government jobs also. Let’s recruit SC/ST and OBC pilots for aircrafts which are carrying the ministers and politicians (that can really help the country.. ) Ensure that only SC/ST and OBC doctors do the operations for the ministers and other politicians. (Another way of saving the country..) Let’s be creative and think of ways and means to guide INDIA forward. Let’s show the world that INDIA is a GREAT country. Let’s be proud of being an INDIAN. May the good breed of politicians like ARJUN SINGH long live…

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Reasons why a Motorcycle is better than women

Reasons why a Motorcycle is better than women

1. If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don’t have to apoligize
before you can ride it again.
2. If your Motorcycle doesn’t look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
3. If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
4. If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don’t have to discuss politics to
correct it.
5. If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
6. If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
7. If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
8. If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
9. It’s always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
10. Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
11. Motorcycles don’t care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
12. Motorcycles don’t care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
13. Motorcycles don’t care if you are late.
14. Motorcycles don’t get pregnant.
15. Motorcycles don’t have parents.
16. Motorcycles don’t insult you if you are a bad rider.
17. Motorcycles don’t mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy
Motorcycle magazines.
18. Motorcycles don’t whine unless something is really wrong.
19. Motorcycles last longer.
20. Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
21. Motorcycles’ curves never sag.
22. New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don’t want to pay for them,
you don’t get them.
23. When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
24. You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.
25. You can have a black Motorcycle and show it to your parents.
26. You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
27. You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won’t get sore.
28. You can ride a Motorcycles any time of the month.
29. You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
30. You can’t get diseases from a Motorcycle you don’t know very well.
31. You don’t have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
32. You don’t have to convince your Motorcycle that you’re a motorcyclist and
that you think that Motorcycles are equals.
33. You don’t have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your
Motorcycle.
34. You don’t have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
35. You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old
one is _really_ worn.
36. Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
37. Your parents don’t remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump

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